Nope, not for my daughter.  Remember when sports used to be for fun?  Not these days, it is all about the big win.  I've told Libby that she can do whatever she wants.  She can go out for volleyball, basketball, track, softball, you name it.  We'll support her in whatever she chooses to do.  But she was relieved, as was were we, to hear that many of her "idols", her "mentors" at the high school were not active in JO volleyball and/or the young  basketball programs.  They concentrated on their grades and their success in academic, not athletic, programs. 

I'm not going to take away from the importance of extra-curricular activities.  But so far, I have to admit, I am so thankful that my daughter is happy with horse showing and band.  Libby is already thinking ahead.  She wants to know what she can be active in next year that will help her with her college aspirations.  She wants to know if she "has" to do sports.  Ummmm.. no.  You don't HAVE to do sports unless you want to.  There are tons of activities to be involved in that are not related to sports.  She has plans to be in tapestry (a select singing group), jazz band, regular choir and band, FFA, SADD, newspaper and, would like to try out for knowledge bowl. 

The reason she doesn't want to be in athletics?  Drama.  She comes by it honestly.  Her mother is competitive to a fault.  Her dad is definitely an athlete and competitive.  But neither one of us want her involved in a middle school activity where winning is everything.  Where all members don't get to play.  Where there is a "top" team and a "bottom" team.  At 5th and 6th grade (heck even 7th and 8th), it shouldn't be all about winning.  It should be about skill building, TEAM building and participation.   How did we lose track of that?

Lord almighty, in 7th grade I was completely awful at basketball.  I played.  In 8th grade I was completely awful in basketball.  I played.  I quit after that as I knew it wasn't for me and I didn't want to ride the bench for the next 4 years.  But I had the opportunity to see if I liked it or had potential.  These days, if you aren't in the 5th and 6th grade programs and winning, you don't have a dream of playing in later years.  This family is not in the market for that. 

You could argue that we should recognize the committment and level of intensity it takes to win since we horse show.  You're right, we do.  But my daughters don't have to worry about their "team" mates belittling them in the hallway and/or ridiculing them on the court.  They give it their all and if the judge decides they didn't quite cut it, they pick themselves up by their bootstraps and try again the next day.  Their "team" mates are their ponies and their ponies ALWAYS love them.  As long as the girls bring their hay, their ponies will never give them one spiteful glare. 

It isn't easy to teach young girls.  I know, I've been there.  It is one part coaching, one part team building and 2 parts parenting with every group of girls.  But it isn't just the coach's responsibility to say "enough is enough", it is the parents.  It is the parents' responsibility to let their child know that it isn't all about winning, it is about making memories with your team.  That even though a team member isn't bringing home the baskets (or the kills) it is more important that everyone gets to play.  It is the parents' responsibility to let their child know that since it comes more naturally to them, they can help their team mates by guiding them instead of belittling them.  When did winning in an athletic event become more important than a child's feelings?  Take a step back, look at your competitive edge and ask yourself, "Is it worth it? Is my daughter winning that game, worth that little girl feeling like she is a lesser human being?  Is my daugher going to be the next Misty May or WNBA all star?  Or should I be telling my daughter to concentrate on her ACADEMICS and not athletics as that is what is going to pay the bills in her future."  Something to think about.  Something to question.  Something to ask yourself.